Please continue to ignore me, no matter how loud I shout out

 Sometimes I think you try too hard baby, thats when I'll pull out the taser, shoot you down. 

I want things, so I'll rant. Because this is my blog. and because folks are free to read or not. I'm not in the process of a nervous breakdown (however appealing that might sound) just an anxious dissection of my intent and reasoning.

I love comics. genuinely, love em'. It's a strange thing to have landed on, but here I find myself. a small platform, a small world of folks making and reading little books of sequenced pictures. I love drawing comics, love when it goes right, hate when it goes wrong, but understand it's all part of a learning process. 

I'm trying to teach my hands to move across a page and convey my thoughts directly. No pre-penciling, just pen on paper. I achieve results of varying inclinations, I'll add something like colour, which in my case is most definitely a trick. Black and White is the way. I need to relearn. no... I need to just learn. Shit. a rambling monologue, but if there ever was a place for it... it's the internet, eh.

I have ideas. then none. I am a grown up, but an immature one. Comics. I love em, folks all over the world just making pamphlets or the like; and the feeling when you give them away to someone to then read and enjoy. You can't put a price on it.

But you can put a price on printing a pamphlet and you can put a price on postage. and you can put a price on booking a table at some zine fair. 

Thank fuck for the internet. a bottomless (well..) well of ideas and stuff et al. pah, more rambling... sorry. Throw it out into the digital world, make it free. 

I want things. I want to be better at what I'm trying to do. I figure time'll take care of that. But what if there's a bus with my name on it next week. cycling is a dangerous necessity in the big city. Anyhow, morbid thoughts aside, I'd like to complain for real.

It's not a monetary thing. I don't particularly want to make much money from drawing. thats not a reason, my life'd be just too boring if I didn't draw. A crappy minimum wage job'd do me for now y'know... It's more like, I so want to be where I want to be, but I'm not there, and I'm not always sure I'm heading in the right direction. Sometimes it seems I'm just swaying in the supercharged twilight, with a pen and a paper, ageing.

Holy cow, I believe I've just hit on the whole reason for the rant.

Lately my body is heavy and uncoordinated. Im thin, but no longer lean. Young, but no longer a youth. It's a scary and strange thing, to realise life passes you by regardless. maybe no one really ever grabs ahold of it like we'd care to imagine... 

The 60's were a long time ago mon ami. But they'll come around soon enough, so tune in, turn up, cop out. Or just turn off that record machine.

anyhow, thanks for listening. No comment necessary.